Goats Cheese & Rocket Bread, Mini Yorkshire Puddings and Autumn Rolls

I get the sneaky feeling that summer is over. When you wake in the morning to find the room even darker than before you went to bed, you do tend to think that it couldn't possibly be morning, until you realise that cold, harsh, dark reality is staring you in the eye and it's time to kick off the 6 duvets and venture out into the wind, the rain and the cold. You can hear the wolves in the distance. You venture out into the cold armed and ready for the armies of the undead that await you. Zombies dragging themselves to zombie banks, Ghosts quietly floating out of ghost estates. You turn on the radio and all you can here is Jedward. You flick through your Ipod only to find all you music erased and Jedward the only option, playing on an continuous loop.

How did things end up like this? When was the last time you saw daylight? When is the last time you had human contact. You cough into a tissue and notice blood. It's beginning. It's happening to you. You are infected. Your only option now is to take a video camera and run into the woods.

You run. And you keep running. Filming all the time. Shouting out random names - people you know, maybe people you knew, maybe people you thought you knew.

You notice a wall ahead, you approach cautiously. There is something written on it but you can't quite make it out. You get a bit closer only to see written in large letters written with blood: 'I KNOW WHAT YOU DID FOR TAPAS LAST NIGHT!!!!!!'

Potato, Goats Cheese & Rocket Bread

Ingredients: 1 x goat and someone that can milk it and also make cheese. Alternatively about 150g of nice goats cheese should do. I used Ryefield; 4 x spring onions, thinly sliced; bunch of rocket mister!, chopped; 175g self raising flour, 1 x potato, peeled and grated; pinch of cayenne pepper; lots of black pepper, pinch (ouch!) of salt; T of mustard; one beaten egg, no witnesses; splash of milk

Sift the flour, pepper and salt into a bowl. Grate the potato into the mix and mix. Lots of mixing. Don't get mixed up. Add the rocket and spring onions, mix well (more mixing!) using the back of a knife. Beat the egg, milk and mustard together - and add to the (DEEP BREATH) mix and continue to - (HOLY MOSES!!) mix (I CAN'T STOP IT) well with the knife. Give it a good season of black pepper and (ah for gods sake!?!) mix. Add most of the goats cheese to the cursing MIX - AAARRRRRRGGGHHHHH!!!!!!. Turn out onto a floured tray when it formes a rough dough. Press the rest of the cheese into the mix (NOOOOO THERE MUST BE ANOTHER WORD!!!!!!), give a dust of flour and bake for 40-50 mins at 180c. Simple.

Steak With Mini Yorkshire Puddings and Pea & Wasabi Purree
(from the Ballymaloe Cookbook)

Ingredients: bunch of frozen peas; some wasabi; a dollop of creme fraiche; 55g plain flour; 1 egg, 150ml milk; 5g butter

Preheat the over to 230c. Sift the flour into a bowl and make a well in the centre. Drop in the egg and beat or whisk drawing in more flour from the edges while steadily pouring in the milk. If you are and Octopus this is easy. Once you have mixed in all the flour and milk add the cooled melted butter and allow to rest for an hour or so.

Season your meat well and cook in a hot pan with some oil for a couple of mins each side for medium rare. Remove and rest. Don't be a donkey like myself and overcook the meat a little as you can see from the photos!

Heat your muffin type tray in the oven. Once hot, grease with a little oil and fill each half way with the batter. Pop back into the oven for 15mins or until crispy brown.

Vietnamese Autumn Rolls

Ingredients:
Rice paper squares; 1 carrot, thinly sliced; 1 courgette, thinly sliced; handful of oyster mushrooms, chopped; handful of bean sprouts; bunch of fresh, chopped coriander; some rapeseed oil for frying
For the dip:
juice of 1 lemon; 2 tbsp fish sauce; 1-2 tbsp sugar; 1 clove garlic, finely chopped; opt. 1 hot chilli finely chopped

Have a bowl of hot water handy. Dip each sheet of rice paper in to it to soften. Lay on your work top and fill with a little of each of the veggies and herbs. Roll tightly. Repeat until all the filling is used. Heat the oil in a pan and fry, turning until they are coloured each side.

For the sauce, just mix all the ingredients together.

In the glass
Basiano, Tempranillo, 2009, 23.5%

On the stereo
Pantha Du Prince; Basement Jaxx